You human paraquat.

& I'd like this motherfucking week to be over.
Anytime now, thanks.

Last night, I got totally and completely wasted. It was fucking insane. I drank so much liquor, but I don't seem to have a hangover. How tremendous is that? xD

Anyways, Jess's party was really fun. Her friend Taj came over before anyone else and we started drinking at like 6:30 or something. He got drunk before the party even started. When people actually started to arrive, he was either in the bathroom puking or in the spare room passed out. I felt kind of bad for him.

Jess was with Jared most of the time, so I chilled with her friend Satchell and when Joey and Bray came over, I hung out with them, too. It was cool seeing Bray, I haven't seen her in a while. We chain smoked and mixed drinks and just chilled. It was very fun. =)

I passed out around midnight because I was so drunkkk. I started drinking at 6:30 and didn't stop until like 11:30. I'm surprised I didn't puke. I felt a little nauseous, though.

I'm still at Jess's house and we're waiting for pizza and watching American Psycho. Cool.

I have to clean my room or else I can't go to Jess's party tomorrow. Looks like I have a lot of work to do. =/

School was okay today. Except I failed my chemistry quiz. I think I did bad on my English quiz, too. Boooooo. Okay actually, school sucked today. The only good part was getting to change my courses for next year. Instead of taking stupid Physics, I'm taking Vertebrae Zoology and Piano! :D I also dropped my study hall to take two more courses, Psychology and Sociology. I'm so excited! They have so many awesome courses at this school. I actually don't want to leave as bad as I used to. Of course, I still miss SHA dearly. But this school has so many cool courses.

Not to mention, I'm doing really well with only a little effort. Should I decide to put more effort in, I'll go through school with flying colors, ensuring me entrance to Smith College (home of the lesbianz. jkjk)

I couldn't go for my walk today because of the fucking rain. >_< And I've been doing so well with walking every day. Two miles, bitches. I'm losing weight already. ^_^ My pants are starting to get baggy. I'm trying to lose a lot more weight though, so I think I'm going to walk double tomorrow to make up for my lack of walking today.

My brother wants to go to the Gunnery for high school. It's a boarding school in the the northern part of CT. He can't go unless he gets a free ride though, but there's a really good chance that he'll get in for me. My dad's best friend knows people who would most definitely pay for my brother's education. So if Jordan gets in (which is also very likely) that's probably where he'll go. I should feel really happy for him, but I can't help but feel really disappointed and hurt. I mean, the kid hasn't been home in two years, and when he comes home, he wants to go to boarding school? I miss him so much it hurts. =/

There's also a possibility that he'll just stay in Vermont. He told my grandmother that he'd only stay if I got to stay there, too. I started crying when my mom told me he said that. At least I know he cares.

Gotta clean my room.

I went the whole day without wearing my glasses, which sucked on enormous levels, since I couldn't see a fucking thing. So I got home, ecstatic that I'd be able to go up to room and just slip my glasses on, but now I can't find them. Joy.

So, being at my mom's house was awesome. I needed to get out of here so badly. All I've been doing is fighting with Gretchen and dad and treating them like crap because they treat me like crap, and I never lose my cool at my mom's house. I feel like my mood is all over the place when I'm home, but when I'm at her house, I'm just really, really happy. I'd rather live there than here.

My mom doesn't want me to smoke pot with my friends, so she said that if I ever feel the need to smoke, I should go to her and she'll smoke with me. How fucking awesome is that? xD Of course, I'm not sure if I'll do it. Being on Rispedrol, the chance of having a bad high and possibly even a psychotic breakdown are so high, I'm afraid to risk it.

The Simpsons is calling me.

Wow, that definitely wasn't gay.

Anyways, since lj seems to be the cool thing nowadays, I've decided to make one. For the like, 92384204th time. >_> I always end up hating the username I choose, but I kind of like this one, since I'm a total Latin freakazoid. Lux=light, for those Latin-challenged folks out there.

I would have gone with lux-aeterna, but that was already taken. Damn people. >=P

Well, since I'm usually really uncommunicative around everyone, here's your chance to actually know what's going on inside my mind! =D Because, Lord knows, I certainly won't be expressing anything in person. I'm too shy unless I'm in front of a computer. So, yeah. Here it is.

SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX

Juuuust kidding. Except not. ;P Anyways, I'm going to my mom's house soon, so I must get ready.